Author: cgul(weeeeeeee)
Release date: unknown

This is the WEEKLY UPDATE vol. 13
(WUUT = Weekly Update for Unreal Tournament. A review of the top stories from the past week in the world of UT that really matter to you!)

* TOOOOOO Long! People have been complaining that last time the WUUT was too long!! So here goes. Shorter.

* ROCKHARD Found his Marble: He lost it in the hot tub in Zone 57.

* UNRELATED Story: secrecy around zone 57 is at an all time high. Two of our reporters got kidnapped by the z57 police and had some brain reprogramming done!

* ANOTHER unrelated Story: An new skin was found just outside the secret entrance to zone 57. When this reporter put it on a pink cap with "Jeep" written on top suddenly appeared on my head and I had some unexplainable attraction to any sweatshirts with a gigantic "M" right in the middle of them. Our top scientists here at the WUUt have been analzing this skin and have broken the code. Apparently if you have the goggles to find the secret entrance to the FAABS store and you use the botpack.rockhard skincode you will immediately feel this effect. Very COOL!

MOVIE Reviews

SPIDER-MAN :: There was a new movie out over the past while and here is what the WUUT staff thought of the movie. Don't worry there aren't too many spoilers in the article.

"Uh like, yeah dude, the preview contained like a trailer for Scooby-Doo and like I was trippen at that point. Like all I could think about were scooby snacks and then I had to close my eyes cause it was like scary cause the scooby-doo trailer was over, so I cried, but then like there were some more trailers and they were pretty good. Then the credits came on. So I thought the movie was over so I left. Like I was confused why no one else was leaving but I thought they were just watching the credits to see who the "Best Boy" was, so I ran out. Later my girlfriend told me that she enjoyed the movie but wondered why I left so early, like before the movie even started. So that wasn't any good. But she told me that the movie was good and the goblin reminded her a bit of SpaceShrimp. She also said that she wanted to get one of those flying thingys so that when she plays UT she could have a significant advantage over that cgul freak...."

There you have it. An informative review of the latest blockbuster movie. Stay tuned for a rivetting review of Star Wars when that comes out next week.


A news breaking interview with: a NOOB !

Interview with a Noob.(well it's made up because the ass noobs kept going
on about 'what is wuut?')

Q. are you afraid of the noob eater?
A. what is a noob eater?

Q. A noob eater is a monster that eats noobs. Are you afraid of the
A. What is a noob?

Q. A noob is someone like you... ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE NOOB EATER?!?!?!?!?
A. Oh, the thing that keeps eating me when I fall. Nope because I die
befor I can be scared.

Q. Do, you have any favourite maps?
A. What's a map?

Q. Oh, screw it! i'm outta here...
A. ok...

* EDITOR: we are looking for an editor of the wuut for the time between may 26th to June 26th. Please respond to iwannabeaneditor@paddlethis.com.

* CODING GEEK? Well if you enjoy coding and you enjoy games then you will..uhhh....you might....uhhh...you can try and enjoy this link.
Java-Battle-Bot League

That is all for this week. Sorry it has been so long this week!

(back issues available for a small fee, very small, insignificantly small, so small you would barely even notice.)

Submissions for the WEEKLY UPDATE maybe sent somewhere.
*** Disclaimer, most, if not all of this is a complete fabrication of a very strange mind, and now, possibly even more.