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PostPosted: Thu Dec 25, 2003 11:26 pm 
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This is the WEEKLY UPDATE vol. 4. --condensed version

* FROM the EDITOR: Crappy issue

* TOP STORY: OLD PEOPLE SUCK AT UT: dP|BlUË_ÃnGëL put out study about old people sucking at UT, [cake] repsponded "Huh, we are old and still can kick your a$$"

* TOR2: The next tournament of rockets is coming up soon. Better seating and safer.

* DESSLOCH CAREER CHANGE Part II? Dessloch has been joined by Missy in operating the "Food, Ammo n' Baby Supply" shop! Building it soon. Menu is coming out soon.

* BOTS IN TRAINING: Very secret very well guarded training facility. SpaceShrimp unavailable for comment. Bots getting tortured.

* BETTY-BOO SCANDAL IS OVER!: Apparently the apple smell was just shampoo and not an elaborate plot to dethrone the top UT players! Her skills have gotten better by practicing! Like you folks, I have never heard of practicing improving anyone's skills.

JOBS SECTION:

* WUUT needs an interviewer. send in your resumes.

* Dessloch and Missy's "Food, Ammo n' Baby Supply" is looking for a short order cook, a dishwasher, and and diaper changer. Please attach your resumes to the end of this post.

UPDATES From LAST WEEK's Newsletter

* Rockhard increases pay for bots after WUUT office siege.

* REH MRA Lost and Found staff members want to thank everyone for helping clear out the lost and found. They would however like their own personal belonging back. If you accidently picked up their clothing and wallets and stuff please return them to the naked people behind the lost and found desk.

* NEW CLAN: http://www.weeeeeeee.com/ go visit. It now houses three most dangerous players in UT, uncrash, jake, and cgul (usually just a danger to themselves but have been known to hit on or two people with a rocket on occasion).

THIS IS FOR REAL SECTION

* This is a new section that talks about actual real things that have been happening in the world that happened to catch my attention

* Teleportation almost a reality, almost (go searching on the net for quantum teleportation)

That is all for this week.

(back issues available for a small fee, very small, insignificantly small, so small you would barely even notice.)

Submissions for the WEEKLY UPDATE maybe sent somewhere.
*** Disclaimer, most, if not all of this is a complete fabrication of a very strange mind.


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